How Do I Find Hope When I Feel Hopeless? with CEO Whisperer, Lisa Arie

Dark and turbulent times in our lives often leave us feeling hopeless. How do you find hope when you are in a dark place and feel totally hopeless? 

In this episode, Ben interviews Lisa Arie, co-founder and CEO, Vista Caballo, the most innovative human and leadership development program in the world. Lisa discusses how to find control in circumstances where you feel like you have none. 

We may not be able to control what happens to us in life, but we can control our own minds. By utilizing the power of imagination through deep breathing techniques, we can write our own story of our lives, and use hard times to develop ourselves to be better human beings. 

Transcript

(INTRO MUSIC)

Introduction - Host Ben Marullo (00:00)

Welcome to the Mental Muscle podcast. I’m your host Ben Marullo. It's up to us to be the heroes of our own lives. 

Known as a CEO Whisperer, today I'm interviewing Lisa Arie, the Co-founder and CEO of Vista Caballo, a human and leadership program hailed as the most innovative in the world. She's a self-described happy person and I thought that she would be the perfect person to discuss the feeling of hopelessness.

Although this episode was recorded in November 2020, in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, the lessons that she teaches should be applied to life beyond the pandemic. It's the lessons that we learn in crisis that carry us as stronger, more resilient people. The feeling of not being in control that we all felt in 2020 can happen in other times in our lives in different ways. 

Lisa teaches us how to find hope but more importantly how to make yourself the safest place to be. We discussed self-love, the power of imagination, leading your own life, and how to turn your greatest obstacles into your greatest assets.  

How do you find hope when you feel totally hopeless? Let's find out.

Lisa Arie Introduction (01:14)

My name is Lisa Arie and I am the co-founder of Vista Caballo, a human and leadership development center in Southwest Colorado. I am a happy person. I love life. I've had an extraordinary life and I'm really grateful to be here. 

Host Ben Marullo (01:37)

Today, we're going to be talking about “How Do I Find a Hope When I Feel Totally Hopeless”. I know this is a very depressing topic, but this is something that I think a lot of people can relate to. 

During this pandemic, I have had many times where I felt like I am tasked to be as charismatic as possible, to get to the next level in my career, to push myself to adapt to the changing times, to get out and exercise and to eat healthy. There are all these things that we have to motivate ourselves to do. But it feels like there's no motivation. It feels like it's very difficult to get yourself to do those things when you don't have socialization. It feels very unnatural to be alone all the time. 

So, my first question for you is, what is driving that feeling of hopelessness and urge to want to quit? Where is our brain going when we're thinking these kinds of thoughts? 

Guest Lisa Arie (02:36)

Thanks, Ben. I’m happy to be here today. Such a great question.

I think the best place to start is to really understand that being together and being social ­– we are social creatures so that is natural. That is part of our instinctual wiring – to be together. When suddenly, part of that wiring can't happen, it does make us feel off kilter. 

The most important thing to realize is that it's not you. These are extraordinary times. These are unprecedented times. The way to stay in balance is to understand how we are wired so that we can keep ourselves in balance no matter what. Does that make sense?

Ben (03:29)

Absolutely. You're right. We are social but when we lose the social fabric, how do we adapt? 

Lisa (03:39)

Let's break this down. 

What is hope? Hope is the basic belief that good things will happen. Hope is very, very powerful. It is part of one of our primal emotions of happiness. When we feel happy, it is an indication that we are leading ourselves toward hope. 

To see the power of hope, all we have to do is take a moment and imagine having no hope. How do you feel when you have no hope?

Ben (4:19)

It feels like you almost don’t have a purpose to live your daily life. I know that sounds very dark. It's like when there's no hope what's there to do?

Lisa (04:32)

Exactly. There's a big dark cloud. You can feel afraid. You can feel sad. You can feel despair. That is what happens when there is no hope. Now, fill yourself with hope and tell me how you feel? 

Ben (04:47)

When you have no hope, it feels like it's not real. When you do imagine having hope, it's something tangible. You can see it. You can smell it. You can taste it.

Lisa (05:00)

Absolutely! It’s all about possibility and opportunity. 

So, if you understand that there are certain reasons that can cause us to feel hopeless, but all it is is a feeling and our feelings change. This is really, really important to understand. Different things – like if you feel alienated, which we all do right now, if we feel forsaken, likewise, uninspired, powerless, oppressed, limited, feeling helpless, these are all things that can trigger that feeling of hopelessness. 

One of the things we can do is to identify it for ourselves. Instead of it becoming overwhelming or all-encompassing, it's like, “OK, I am feeling this way because I do feel helpless. I do feel uninspired. So, my wiring is actually working correctly. All cylinders are firing right now. Then it's up to us to lead ourselves past that, get through that.

We have a few different intelligence systems. We have the brain in our skull. We have the brain in our chest called our heart. We've got the brain in our stomach which we call instinct. We need all these intelligence systems to be activated so that we can lead ourselves through these moments that can feel very dark. 

It all starts with the awareness of how we feel. We have to have the courage to be able to say it – I feel hopeless.  Why? Because I feel forsaken. Because I feel powerless. OK. How do we then activate a sense of power of feeling, a feeling of inspiration, a feeling of connection?  If you can identify how you feel, then you can address that.

Ben (07:27) 

Because we recorded this podcast during the coronavirus pandemic, most people were feeling pretty lonely. I wanted to ask Lisa how we can use tools, like technology, that connect us in a healthy way. 

So you’re home all the time and we want to connect. The way that we do that is through technology. But it's like the technology in the media is this really great tool – that we can even have this conversation being in two completely different places – but that also seems to negatively impact people. We start looking at things online and seeing these idealized lives on Instagram or on other social media platforms and here we are at home. That's what I want. 

You see pictures from the past and it brings you back to these terrible feelings sometimes. What can you do to take control of your life now that you don't have these senses as much anymore? It seems like the only avenue to get there is through things that hurt us. 

Lisa (08:29) 

My answer to that would be that we have to make a decision. It's up to us to be the heroes of our own lives. It’s up to us to lead ourselves forward. Is this pandemic going to last forever? No. It’s not.

How do I want to spend this time? There is actually an incredible opportunity since we are spending so much time by ourselves and with ourselves to use this time to develop ourselves. To use this time to get to know ourselves in ways that we haven't before. we don't have to connect to media, we can actually connect to ourselves. Do you know how you feel? Do you know what all those feelings mean? Do you know the thoughts you are having and why you're having them? We always have our imaginations, to your point. 

Sometimes I can see something on Instagram, does it mean that I have to feel sad about it? Hmm? I can say when the pandemic is over that's where I'm going. That's what I'm going to do. What are the steps that I can start to take right now that could lead me to be at that place so that when this pandemic is over I'm ready to go?

It's about intention. We can imagine the life we want to have and then we set our intention to have it. We use our emotion – rather than being run over by our emotions – to get us there. If I am feeling sad, then if I understand that my emotion of sadness only shows up when something has to be released and something has to be restored.

Ben (10:29)

That's interesting.

Lisa (10:30)

Right now, I could feel very sad that I can't be with my friends. So it has to be released? Maybe the thought that I'm not going to be with my friends forever and ever. What has to be restored? Maybe using my imagination to think about how I want to be with my friends when we are together. 

Ben (10:59)

How do you bring yourself back down to reality sometimes when you when you think, “Well, shoot, I don't know when it's ever going to end? 

Lisa (11:07)

That’s a really question. If you look when is it going to end? If I feel helpless because I have no control over what's happening to me right now, that's uncomfortable. We all like to be in control. That's what's causing the distress. Just say someone said to you “OK, the pandemic is going to end three years from now on March 4th”. How would you feel? 

Ben (11:47)

That's a really long time! 

Lisa (11:50)

But you would know something. 

Ben (11:52)

You would know when it was going to end. That's almost kind of nice. But that's just so long, right?

Lisa (11:58)

OK, but you see? Now we've just done an experiment. Is it really wanting to know when it's going to be over or is it the realization that I am very uncomfortable when I don't feel in control? 

Ben (12:12)

Yes. Absolutely. 

Lisa (12:15)

So, how can I feel in control in any moment? Because the reality is, we can't be in control of outside circumstances ever. Never have, never will be.

So, what can I be in control of? Myself.

Ben (12:35)

Well, right. That would be pretty much the only thing.

Lisa (12:39)

Right.

So that is reality. I can control how I feel. How I respond. If I respond instead of react. 

Here's the thing. A lot of times when we're reaching outside for that connection –although, like I say, we do need interaction, we are social creatures – but one of the one of the big bypasses we usually make is I'm a person. I can connect with myself. I can make myself the safest place to be. If I make myself the safest place to be, no matter what's happening in the outside world I feel in control.

Ben (13:20)

So, what happens if you don't like yourself? What happens if you feel like you're not capable of being just by yourself? There's some issue you feel like I don't feel safe just alone. I don't feel comfortable in my own head. How do I find that piece? 

Lisa (13:38)

It is such a beautiful brilliant, critically important question that we must answer. Because if you can feel otherwise, you will be free for the rest of your life. 

If I don't like myself, I can use this time to really discover where that came from and to lead myself out of that place into a place of self-acceptance and self-love.

And we all need that. That can change our world. 

So where do we start? We start with awareness. We start with that awareness of just that thought, “Wow, I don't really want to be by myself because i don’t like myself”. Why? Where did that start? Is it the truth? Have I just started to believe that because maybe that's the environment that I'm in? Did I always feel that way about myself? When did I start to disconnect from myself? 

Screen time affects your critical thinking. We know this. It affects your reasoning. It's kind of a conundrum because well I want to spend time on the screen to be with my friends. Fair enough. But maybe you could spend as much time with yourself becoming your very own best friend. 

So, as a best friend, if you were sitting next to yourself as a best friend what would and could you do? What would a best friend do? Would a best friend sit there and say, “Wow, this situation is really, really terrible? We're probably going to be in it for a really, really long time. And then you're probably going to be so dramatically changed that will never ever, ever be happy again”. 

Is that someone that you would want to be with?

Ben (15:49)

Definitely not.

Lisa (15:51) 

Right. Or is it “Wow, this is the most challenging experience I have ever gone through. I wonder how I can get through it?” Have there been other experiences like this on our planet? Maybe. I could do some research about that? Maybe I could look at the story of Anne Frank and what she went through? Maybe I could find some companionship and some empathy in some stories of inspiration? Maybe I should gather my friends together and say, “Hey, let's find the most the most inspiring stories out of some of the most challenging times that our humankind has ever known and we can start by looking at our own as well because maybe our stories will be able to help others.” 

Ben (16:46)

You know, Lisa, it reminds me of what I’ve always felt like when I teach something to somebody, I learn it the best. It’s somewhat ironic, right? Because you have to know like a certain threshold of information to be able to teach somebody else. But it's like the act of leading someone else also leads yourself. If what you're saying is to basically visualize yourself as your best friend, what that's saying to me is that you're looking at yourself as not one person but almost two. It's like you've got the sad you and kind of like the devil and the Angel. 

You've got this one side of you that’s down in the dumps. Then you have to get that teachable moment from the other side. It's not always like this. I could get through this and by virtue of leading myself, you're kind of establishing this relationship with your own mind and body and soul as you said earlier. You can be your own friend. I feel like you almost must have this duality if you want to achieve that. Does that sound correct to you? 

Lisa (18:04)

I would not suggest duality. What I would suggest is you are one person and it is your opportunity to be the very best person you can be. And what comes into play is that we have different intelligence systems that can help us be our best. 

Happy and sad – they're both different emotions with different messages. Sad says we've gotta release something we've got to restore something. If you're the leader it's a member of your team showing up and saying, “Boss, we've got to release something right now. We've got to restore something right now. It's critically important to our health and well-being. 

If happiness shows up, it's saying, “OMG, we're on the path to hope which is where all the opportunities lie and possibilities. Let's stay on this path.” 

The other thing that's really important and that's why it is very important. You can get out. You can walk. You can do some sort of exercise, hopefully. It's very, very important that you find that because our brain chemistry is very important to keep healthy. If I'm just staring at my screen all day long, that's not good. 

The way that the brain is wired, we've got something called NATS. Not like little bugs that fly around our face but it's negative automatic thinking. That’s how the brain is already wired from when we were cave people. That's how we would keep ourselves safe. It's like “Well, maybe we shouldn't go out of the cave because there could be something out there that could eat me.” That’s in there.

So, what we have to do now, the brain is very efficient and so it created a new part of the brain called the frontal cortex. It's right above your eyes and this is why imagining is so important. It develops that part of your brain and it can counteract the negative automatic thinking. 

Einstein was a pretty smart guy. What he said is “knowledge is limited but imagination circles the world.” Maybe I'm not where I physically want to be right now. Maybe I don't want to be cooped up in my room all day long. But I can imagine all kinds of things. I can get out. Even if I have to do jumping jacks in my room. There's something I can do. I've decided with this time to be the most physically strong I possibly can be. I've got little barbells. I've got my rowing machine. I’ve set myself up. I'm using this time to make myself physically strong.

Ben (21:04)

Right, you can use that.

Lisa (21:07)

Right. The most important thing if i had to say Step 1. Step 1 is Are you the leader of your own life? Yes or No? And I don't mean that we have certain people that we have to listen to depending on how old we are or what are environmental circumstances are like. I understand that. But inside me am I the leader of my life or not?

One of my favorite all time movies is called “The Hurricane”.  It's a true story and it's about a prize fighter who was incarcerated for most of his life – wrongfully so. The way that he got through it was he basically said, “They can have my body, but they cannot have my mind.” 

And this is the choice I'm talking about. I have to be able to rein these negative thoughts in and lead myself to positive thinking, to an optimistic attitude. And that is a practice. It's a practice. So, if you get up every morning you say “OK, so I'm going to spend 10 minutes on Instagram, then I'm going to have breakfast and then I'm going to spend 3 minutes where I'm just thinking positive thoughts. I'm going to share that with my friends on Instagram. You can start a movement like that. 

Who has the most positive thoughts? It doesn't mean that we're ignoring reality. It means that we're taking this reality and we're going to leverage it for our own good. 

Ben (23:06)

You’re basically talking about how to develop our natural instincts to work with us instead of against us. So, the imagination is key? We must be able to visualize. We must be able to think. 

So, walk me through some of the things that I can do. If I'm thinking I want to do that and I need to get my head clear. I need to focus but it's difficult to focus. What do I do?

Lisa (23:35)

Where we re-empower ourselves, where we turn on our own power button so we don't feel powerless, we have to live in and from our hearts. Period. End of story. There are 40,000 neurons that go from our heart to the frontal cortex – the front part of your brain which is above your eyes. That's the imagination center. Focus on that. 

So, what it can look like is a very simple breath practice. I'm going to talk a little bit about the biology of your body. There's lots of different systems but two of the systems I’m going to talk about – one is called the sympathetic system and one is called the parasympathetic system. 

The sympathetic system is when we are in danger. When we are afraid, we use our energy. All the energy in our body gets marshaled so we have extra energy to run or to fight. The parasympathetic system is once that moment is over, we restore ourselves. By doing a very simple breath practice, we can move ourselves from being in that state of anxiety, that state of fear and that state of despair. We can move ourselves back into that restoration, that rejuvenation stage. 

There are a few different ways that you can do it. There's a kajillion videos that you can search. You can find one that you love for yourself. A really simple one that I do is I just I take a deep inhale. Your lungs go from the top of your shoulders to the bottom of your rib cage. You want to inhale and fill your lungs all the way up, hold it at the top, and exhale through your mouth. 

Ben (25:27)

Why is that so powerful? Why is the breath such a powerful thing? I hear that so much in the meditation and mental health talks. What's the explanation for that?

Lisa (25:37)

Do that while I explain. Do that three more times. You want to do it in a sequence of four. So, you do that.

Ben (25:47)

I won't bore you with making you listen to my breathing, but I took 4 deep breaths according to Lisa's advice. 

Lisa (25:57)

How are you feeling right now?

Ben (26:03)

 A little bit more energy in the brain, if that makes sense? 

Lisa (26:11)

And how do you physically feel? 

Ben (26:14)

I guess like a break between just staying in this cycle of staring at a screen and writing stuff down. And then you do this [breathe] and you're grounding yourself a little bit. 

Lisa (26:27)

So, you asked why? It literally floods the brain with oxygen. All of a sudden you are thinking better. That is why we do it. And if you do that just twice a day – that series of four breaths twice a day – notice if you start feeling better. 

Now here's something interesting. You may resist that. Why? Because maybe a lot of us are feeling mad about this whole thing. It's not rational, but, you know, emotions sometimes are not rational. 

But here's the interesting thing. You might think “Don't tell me that I should practice and imagine and focus on feeling happy because I'm just angry about the whole thing. I missed however many months of being in school with my friends.” OK, fair enough. 

Then, own your emotions. And here's the thing – here's the intelligence of anger. Healthy anger. When anger shows up, it says someone has been incongruent. Someone has crossed my line or someone is being manipulative. And that someone could be me.

So, for most of us, maybe there's some incongruence. It's like “Wait, I thought life was supposed to be happy and joyful and I could just be with my friends and hang out and you know be a teenager and be my own free teenage self.” OK, that got crushed. Someone crossed that line. 

Yes. Yes. The pandemic did, for now. What are we going to do about it? At least now I know what I'm talking about. So, I can either be irrationally angry or I can let it out of my system. I can punch my pillow at night. I can jump up and down. I can write a long letter about how angry I am about the whole situation. And then I'm going to feel better. Then I can choose to say “Now, I'm going to lead myself to be a great person, a happy person, a fulfilled person, no matter what.”

No one or nothing is ever going to take that away from me. I will always be able to find the joy in any moment because that is how I want to live my life. I'm not going to let external situations influence my joy. Not ‘gonna happen. Because if I do, who's in charge? That means I'm never going to be in charge. Ever. 

Ben (29:14)

Yeah. That's such a powerful thing. I think being able to establish that at a time like this is something we need to do. We have to look on the bright side. Of course, this is a crisis. It is a crisis, a global crisis. But this is a time where I've felt often like I have a chance to take a step back and build myself. I think coming out of this pandemic and coming out of any difficult time because it's not just the pandemic. Everyone goes through periods of their life or times where they just feel very down like something really bad happens and you're in this state.

You can use that - it seems like what you're saying - as an opportunity. It's about shifting the way that you perceive what's going on which can be difficult. Let's say lose a family member. That is super hard. How do you look at something like that as an opportunity to grow and to be a better person? Sometimes it just feels like there is nothing. I think that in this particular situation with Covid but also, in general, you do have the opportunity to do that right? 

Lisa (30:34)

Well, it's very interesting. The answer is yes. It is very interesting that you brought up that exact example because I actually lost a family member today. So, how do we use that? We feel it. We own it. I'm grieving right now, and I own that. I'm going to feel it all the way through as an honoring of my love for this person. But do I need to let it overcome an entire life? No. Can I feel happy while I'm in grief. Yes. I'm doing this podcast with you right now and I feel joyous about that and my heart hurts as well.

Ben (31:27)

Wow I'm so sorry to hear that. That's amazing. It's like I think that sometimes we perceive emotions as linear. It's like we can't have more than one at a time. But almost all emotions are a combination of different emotions?  

Lisa (31:44)

Absolutely.

So, what you're really saying here is yes, our emotions are like guitar strings. If you just plucked one, it wouldn't be much of a song.

Ben (31:56)

What a great analogy!

Lisa (31:59)

And here’s the thing that trips us up. 

It’s the stories that we attach to our emotion that can really send us down a rabbit hole or have us flap with one wing. I'm supposed to XYZ. When that's maybe not the truth. Maybe that's not who you are. That's why I'm saying this is actually an incredible time to have upper-level conversations like this one and really discover who you are without all this other stuff. 

Can I feel emotional about, of course. Yes. I could be super upset right now. Instead, I said “OK, there's nothing I can do. Nothing I can do on one hand. On the other hand there is everything I can do. I can re-purpose my business. I can get on podcasts like this one. I make the choice how I'm going to get through this. I'm in charge of that. And no one can ever take that away from me. My choice.

So that sense of helplessness, I really want to share about that. We've got something inside of us. It's a sense of vulnerability. It's actually one of our best power tools. If I am not afraid to feel vulnerable, you can't hurt me. I really want people to understand that so they're not afraid of it. When the sense of vulnerability activates, it just telling you it's time to connect. We need to connect to something. If I'm sitting there in a room by myself it's like “Well, who do I connect to? 

Well, here are some things you can connect to. I can connect to a positive thought. I can connect to my breath. I can connect to my imagination. I can connect to myself. I can be there 100% for myself. Maybe it feels like the world has abandoned me right now, I'm not going to. I'm never going to abandon myself. Ever. These are things that we can connect to. When you do that, you will feel re-empowered.

Ben (34:13)

Coming back to the idea of hopelessness, how do you find that hope? It's almost like you recognizing that the feeling of hopelessness, the feeling of sadness is a signal. And it’s showing you something that is happening in your life and it’s up to you to decide if that’s an opportunity to dwell or to relish in the fact that what you are going through was an opportunity for you to grow and to change and to become better. 

If we can find our ability to do that in the dark times and we can approach life in a way that you almost feel invincible, right?

Lisa (34:54)

Absolutely. You will be unstoppable. I love what you said. It's a signal. That's all it is. Now, if you attach a story to it we have to stop and read the story. But if you don't attach the story you can just feel it's a conversation starter with yourself. If I'm feeling hopeless, remember what I said, there's a couple of different ways that can create that feeling. I'm feeling alienated. I’m feeling uninspired. I’m feeling powerless. I’m feeling helpless. OK fair enough.

So now we know what we're talking about. Ok, so, I feel helpless. Now what did Lisa say about feeling helpless? I'm feeling vulnerable which means that I have to connect. I'm going to stop and have a couple good breaths now and see if that hopelessness goes away. Then here's the trick. You have to let it go away. You have to let it go away and you have to let the good feelings come back. If you’re still mad about something, then switch gears and say OK I'm not really ready to let the good feelings come back in yet 'cause I'm just really mad about whatever it is you're mad about. Then just be mad. Have that conversation with yourself. But what are you mad about? Have a good honest conversation. Then see if you're ready at that point to let yourself feel good. 

Ben (36:27)

Yes. The conversation doesn’t always have to be “Let's not let's not think about the emotion” but turn it into something positive. Sometimes they can be “I feel really angry. I feel really sad.” But if the conversation ends there, it's a problem, right? Where we need to be able to recognize but then direct the conversation is something that's productive.

Lisa (36:50)

Absolutely. I love how you how you just shared that direction. Turn it into something productive. So, and it may be hard at first. Only at first. It's only going to remain hard if you don't practice it. It's like well here's this moment I don't really want to be in. I’m feeling kind of low. Alright, let me see if I can lead myself out of it. Oh I did that. Next time let me see if I can do it better. Let me share that with someone how I did it. Let me ask them if they've done it. How did you do it? This is how we're going to get through this by helping each other, starting with helping ourselves.

Ben (37:30)

The last thing I want to ask you – I think somewhat off topic – but I really want to ask you this because for me and for a lot of people play into this idea of hopelessness. 

Feeling guilty. It seems like a feeling of hopelessness can also play into the idea that you squandered an opportunity or that you weren't your best in the past. When you have that feeling of being inadequate or that you did something to yourself to put yourself in this position and that you could have, would have, should have done better?

Lisa (38:09)

I would be my very own best friend in that moment. I would offer myself a lot of compassion for even having that thought. That's what I would do. I would have compassion for myself that I even had that thought. Because that's not a loving thought. 

We're such lovable creatures. We are. Exactly how we are. We don't mess up. Sometimes we do things. We get ourselves in situations because that's also how we learn. In each situation we can make a decision. Depending on what the learning is, we can decide to change. But to hammer on ourselves, that just doesn't do anybody any good. 

If anyone's hammering on us, I would try and distance myself from them by also offering them compassion. You don't have to do that out loud. You can do that very silently. If someone is in your face or making you feel bad, what I do is I do my best to offer them compassion knowing that there's often something inside of them that's hurting. That's why they're reacting that way because people that are in love don't do that.

Sometimes we’ll take action that is harmful to ourselves because we are really, really sad or really, really mad. Hopefully in this conversation, what we've done is opened a doorway up to say have that conversation rather than hurting yourself. Have the conversation about being sad or mad. It may take courage, but you've got a lot of courage. Your heart is strong. That's why I said get into your heart and go there and do whatever you can to get support – someone who will support you in being courageous about speaking your truth.

Ben (40:23)

Action plan time. Speak your truth. When you feel totally hopeless, practice this. What do you do?

Lisa (40:35)

Step 1 - Breathe. Absolutely Breathe. Breathe.

Step 2 - Do your best to get out of your head and get into your heart. A really simple way to do this, as your breathing or after you breathe, you put your hands on your chest over your heart and breathe some more. Get into your heart. Your heart will never steer you wrong. 

If your heart hurts, have the courage to have that conversation with your heart. Do not shy away from it. Be honest in your conversation with your heart. I feel sad, I feel mad, I feel alone. Saying it out loud can actually make you feel better. Then watch the stories. Watch the stories. You can write whatever story you want. 

Step 3 - Do you want to write the story of being the hero in your own life? Write that story. Remember that your emotions are just trying to get you back onto a good path. Onto the path of hope which is where all possibility lies. Imagine that path every day. Develop yourself and as you said, you can then become invincible. Find heroes out there and look and see if they followed some of these steps. Interact with them. Let them inspire you.

Ben (42:26)

So, to start, you breathe to get your minds filled with oxygen your brain filled. Then you connect to your heart. Then you have to write your story and see yourself as your own savior here in your head. Imagine the pathway to where you want to be. Believe that you will get there.

Lisa (42:52)

Yes. And then you can even start to take action - take one action a day as you read that story about you being the hero of your life. What does it look like? Take one step towards that. That may be taking one step away from something is the one step toward something.

Closing - Ben (43:14)

There’s a lot more opportunity in hopelessness, in difficult times, than we often realize. When we are able to harness the opportunity and use it to our advantage, we become invincible. 

That is it for this episode of the Mental Muscle podcast. My name is Ben Marullo and you have just listened to our very first episode. For links to everything that we talked about, please check out the show notes. You can also follow us on Instagram and Facebook under @RealMentalMuscle and on Twitter @MentalMusclePod. 

Thank you for being a part of this movement to build mental fitness. To support our work please subscribe to our show. To really support us, just tell everyone you know about it and check back in one week for fresh ne